Its four in the morning and I’m feeling a bit tipsy. My body wants to rest but once again, I can’t sleep. My head is full. I had dinner then night-out with my high school mates and of course we talked and laughed (and drink) for what felt like hoursss. In the process I learned that you just changed your status today. Not that i’m not happy for you. I am, really. Errr, or so I thought I am. Not until tonight. This is the only time I’m gonna write or talk ’bout this crazy thing that I’ve been trying to deny for months. Today, please let me feel this way. Let me remember what happened and what didn’t so I can finally let go of what might have been and what could have been. Just let me shed a tear, or two.

Have you ever wanted something so much that it hurts?.. It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder. And today, every single breath hurts.

I’ll remember today as the day I walked away. I’ll remember today as the day you let me. But I wish you well in whatever you do.

Always,

Jem